Heavy Revie

As I'm wrestling with God through all of this stuff I'm learning it's somewhat overwhelming and I'm trying to figure out what this looks like and how to apply it in my life. I have a problem of over complicating things. It's not hard; I just need to take things at face value. God said to me..."Go back through the Psalms, reread them with your new light, your new mentality, and be open to the spirit, and then tell me you don't know how to act." The last couple of weeks we've been through God being our healer, restorer, friend, and yet I say characteristics of God as just words. I've experienced a little taste of who he is and how good he is but my time in the Psalms so far have wrecked me. I started at chapter one, as any normal person would, reading with expectancy. These are some things that spoke to me and came alive.

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night, He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields fruit in its season." -Psalm 1:3

• I am rooted in Him and he will provide everything I need when I live in complete submission to Him. He doesn't promise lack of trials, but eternal victory.

"Worship the Lord with reverance and rejoice with trembling." -Psalm 2:11

"But as for me, by your abundent lovingkindness I will enter your house, at your holy temple I will bow in reverance for You." -Psalm 5:7

• When I come into prayer and worship, I often times just talk at God; he's our -friend- right? No, we are approaching the LORDS THRONE and should have an awe and fear of who He is.

"You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety." -Psalm 4:7-8

• The joy of the Lord is a supernatural thing that is stronger than any other happiness from another circumstance. Even though I'm stressed and restless, I can sleep because I know the Lord will give me peace and safety.

"In the morning, O Lord, you will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to you and eagerly watch." -Psalm 5:3

• I'm choosing to begin my day with thoughts of You and operate in it all day long. You never disappoint so I will watch for your hand at work throughout the day.

I got to Psalm 8, read it, read it again, and one more time and I closed my Bible and could do nothing but worship. This is an ultimate example of God and His vastness, his glory, and his majesty. I always knew these things in my head but it was a matter of transferring the head knowledge to heart knowledge.

"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth, who have displayed your splendor above the heavens! From the mouth of infants to nursing babes you have established strength because of your adversaries, to make the enemy and the revengeful cease. When I consider your heavens the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have ordained; what is man that you take thought of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than God and you crown him with glory and majesty! You make him rule over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet, all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea, whatever passes through the paths of the seas, O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" -Psalm 8

I had to sit and let this sink in for a long time but I am now sort of understanding the reality of this. I look out into the ocean in Hawaii and see how huge, how vast, and powerful it is and yet it's the "work of his fingers". Not only does he do all of these things with such accuracy and precision, this guy DELIGHTS IN MY SOUL! The maker of heaven and earth, who breathed all of life into existence, made the sun, moon, and galaxies, and He loves me beyond comprehension. I'm a filthy human, my best is dirty rags to him yet he chooses to love me!! He knew the plans he had for me before I was even spoken into existence. Whoa!! How can I not trust that He has my best interest at heart, after all, He did create me. This was a "heavy revie" to me and it's been rocking me ever since I read it. There are so many awesome facets to God and as I'm learning more it just excites me so much all over again! He's sooo good and so much more :)

Intimacy with Jesus

Breaking News!!

I got married and entered into a covenant relationship with Jesus this week. Reception and the whole bit! :) It was great. I have come to the reality that words are no longer enough, I need to have substance in my heart of the man Jesus. I want to be fixated, facinated, and obsessed with Him. The spiritual lethargy in the church needs to be broken because God is something to be excited about! God designed Eden and created man to walk with unbroken friendship and relationship with him and since the fall of man God is just a "whenever, where ever". I WANT EDEN BACK! I long for more Christ on the inside because I have tasted the real food and I now recognize that hunger.


To the degree you believe the gospel is to the degree you walk in freedom. Our circumstances don't have to control us believe it or not. It's time to redefine "the norm" and pioneer a new way. Andy Byrd is a dreamer and these were some what if's that really hit home to me. Dream with me...what if you didn't care what people thought of you? How would your life look? What's holding you back from that? What lies have you believed, and what would your life look like with no insecurity, no hurt? Become undone with Jesus and understand that living that way is truely possible. I'm challenging myself to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and thank God for who he created me to be, free of insecurity and comparison.

Revival of the Heart-->Reformation of Lifestyle-->

Revival of the Bride-->Reformation of the Church

-->Revival of the World-->Reformation of the World

"We can't just dance in the light of Christianity and proclaim his lordship yet run to lesser lovers or idols. We need to have a full on pursuit of Jesus."

I will choose to be convinced of his love and operate in it all day long. This is not easy but I'm letting his love be my motivator. I'm also learning the power of an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness. It completely flips the table on every circumstance. It makes me enjoy the privilage of loving him. Through our pain, and trials we get to choose to follow and trust him. The deepest intimacy with God is to rest with no inhabitations and have peace from the revelation of love we can trust him. When you're in the presence of someone you love and you know loves you, you understand how to rest and to "just be".

A full revelation of this will automatically cause a natural change in the way you live. He's too good to do the things I used to do. True Christianity and kingdom culture is a disease and it's contagious, it's difficult to catch but once you do, it will fully consume you. However, there is a lot to compete with. Every day it's a battle for our affections and our attention. When you have a revival of the heart you express the reality and character of Jesus and it will awaken and revive and reform the church as a whole. 

I gave God Lordship of my life to be the captain of my ship, on the throne of my heart. I am surrendered, submitted and nothing is better. Some things are easier than others to give up and it's definately a process but I feel that nothing is a sacrafice. NOTHING can compare to the joy I find in the Lord or the riches in heaven. I'm living on the kingdom's economy.

"Let truth be the engine of my train and make emotions and feelings the caboose."-Andy Byrd

"Intimacy without surrender always leads to adultry; the greatest injustice in human history is that the creatures God breathed life into turn their backs on Him."-Andy Byrd  

Breakthrough

As I'm walking this process of being made a new creation out and asking what the first steps look like for this to take place, God has really spoke to me through Philippians. That I would have constant fellowship with the spirit, affection, compassion for everyone, making my joy complete. To be of the same mind, same love, united in spirit intent on one purpose. Jesus emptied himself taking the form of a bond-servant and humbled himself by becoming obedient. This is what I'm going through, so much humility and vulnerability to recognize the lies and remove them from my character. I'm working through this salvation with fear and trembling. It's a scary process but I know that God is at work in me both for his will and to work for His pleasure.

A couple girls got different pictures for me while they were praying with me and this is what they got:

Superman Costume: little kids wear a superman costume with fake muscles and a mask and a cape. This was me, and God is taking off the costume of unreality of my own strength and showing me that I have true muscles and strength that were placed inside of me by Him and without Him, I can't do anything.


Clear, Tall, Glass Container: I'm being filled with clear, fresh water God is pouring in me that is filtering out any rocks and dirt (representing my past) from the bottom of the container. The work the Lord is doing is like a huge wave ready to fill my container. The enemy makes the wave look huge and scary but God is gracious and compassionate and will give me little waves at a time, bringing healing and restoration one little lap at a time and after one is accomplished, we will conquer another one.

"I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do is forgiving what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus...if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you." -Philippians 3:12-15

Even though I have not yet reached my goal the Lord has placed for me, I will hold fast to the desire to know Jesus and reflect him fully and completely. I am motivated and acknowledging the fact that I have a long ways to go but I will not dwell on my past but seek restoration. I will press on with the mindset that there's always more to be learned, submitted, expressed, and it will all be experienced in this process. I'm going through a continuous process of sanctification and if anything interferes with this, I must remove it from my life. The Holy Spirit will conform me to the image of Christ, possessing his character.

"God predestined me to become conformed to the image of his Son, so that He would be firstborn; to those whom he predestined, he called, and those whom he called, he also justified, to those whom he justified, he also glorified." -Romans 8:29

You love Jesus only as much as you love the person you love the least. Let that sink in for a little while. This was really convicting to me. As a society, we are conditioned to the fact that you can only love if we get something in return. God knows everything about us, and still chooses to love us. So we need his power to love like Jesus because on our own, we do not have the capacity or capability.

 AGAPE=LOVING WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT OF REWARD

Something inside of our human minds thinks that we "deserve things". In the world we live in, people seek satisfaction at our cost and it ends up being hurtful. I no longer want to put limitations on friendships and relationships; agape love is not selective. When we love with consistency, we express the *true* character of Jesus just by living this out. I want to be compelled to do something out of the compassionate love that God has given me and not because there's a slight possibility I'll get something for myself. God's unconditional love will get us over the barriers we place on our ability to love and our relationships. What's so ironic and comforting is that God steps out of his authority position to just love us with everything and we should want nothing but to do the same.

These are some things that are cutting deep to my core. So often, we will lose our frame of referance, get weighed down or tripped up, lose sight of our focus and the finish line. I keep reassuring myself and God keeps speaking to me to just run with endurance. To have confidence in the fact that he is doing a mighty and beautiful work and to just keep being obedient and submitting. I'm a person of results and product so I'm extending grace for myself also so I don't beat myself up when I'm not a completely transformed person in 36 hours. That's what makes this journey and process so exciting!! We can think we know all there is to know but God is endless and He can do the impossible. :)

Hold on God...I need my seatbelt on

I'M GOING TO COLOMBIA AND CHILE SOUTH AMERICA FOR OUTREACH!!

That's the breaking news going on in my life and the other breaking news is that God is breaking me but it's not really new news. Our speaker this week is John Bills and he's been covering topics on "Hearing the Voice of God" and "The Fatherheart of God".

-My outreach Team- :)

Do we truely know God?..or just "things about him"? When we spend time in the Word we will know the characteristics of Him and the Holy Spirit will reveal different facets of God. He is so complex but it's so important to understand God speaking to us. This was always a difficult concept for me to grasp...and to explain for that matter. "Hearing" the voice of God.

Four Distinct Voices We Hear:
1.)Voice of the Lord
2.)Voice of Others-when we rely on others over God it's dangerous
3.)Voice of Self-human reasoning and desires
4.)Voice of the Enemy-will quote scripture out of context and distract our minds

The word of God will bring restoration and it is the stability of our souls. If the Bible was removed from our lives would we be able to exist and function?! It's the handbook of life and we cannot lose sight of it's significance.
He took the time to bleed...will we take the time to read?

We went through an exercise through Psalm 119 and recognized specifics throughout scripture why we should study the word of God. It was so awesome to see and identify the very little things that one would easily look over or skim over. When we know the word of God we know truth and nothing can touch that. When we believe lies of the enemy it will reinforce things deeply within us so we need to know what God thinks about us and who and what our character truely is.

Today we talked about the "Father Heart of God". Wow. This rocked my world and sent me on an emotional roller coaster. It was something I had been exposed to briefly but he is our ABBA, our daddy, our father, our rock in times of trouble. He cares about what hurts us, the desires of our hearts, and what we think. We need to just talk to God and tell him what's on your heart; he loves to hear from his children. He created our hearts to have a longing and void for him that -NOTHING- can fill or satisfy. Earthly fathers will exemplify our heavenly father whether that's a direct association or distortion. Whatever that looks like, we need to always go to the Bible to be reminded of God's true character.

Men, by design have so much power and authority. It's how God created them. If these are abused and manipulated characteristics, it portrays a warped concept of the father heart of God. Something that reasonates deep within me is lies spoken from a person of authority that remained in my spirit. Painful experiences with authority cause much mistrust and fear but this is where we hold onto the fact that God will meet us where we're at and prove his faithfulness, healing power, and redeeming love. God's authority is based on justice but fulfilled by grace. I want to remove the blanket of apathy over my life and let the spirit of God expose the lies and replace them with truth. I just pray that the boys of this generation and school will rise up, be righteous godly men who not be perverted in their authority but have the trembling fear of the Lord, recognizing the beauty and worth of women.

When I prayed the dangerous prayer for God to change me, change my heart and make me more like him I guess I forgot to check what that entailed on my part. heh. Well...the process has officially begun. Things I've pushed down and put on the back burner are now being brought to the surface and in the process of being uprooted, replaced with truth, and restored and healed. It is such a beautiful time but it is so so hard. God is breaking walls with his gentleness and speaking my identity over me. Whatever that looks like I don't know yet because the things I have been believing were so skewed. I'm asking he will extend his grace and his mercy as I walk this out. I'll keep everyone updated! :)

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."  --Philippians 1:6

                                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13LBF8J7TyQ

My new "theme song of the season"  Hurricane-Jimmy Needham

Faith, Finances, and Heart Surgery

How hungry and thirsty are you for God?!

David Hamilton talks about intesifying our passion for God and rekindling it and learning how to nourish the flame in your heart. Our relationship with God is similar to those with people. To truely get to know someone and learn about them it's not just a one time encounter. We can deepen the love relationship with God by spending time in prayer, in his Word; it's an ongoing activity so we need to allow the spirit to give you more passion for the heart of God.

Darlene Cunningham, "Mama Dar", and Interpretor

Chris Leredo "Iron Man"

David Hamilton "Man with the Traveling Mustache"

Loren Cunningham "Founder of YWAM"

The Word of God is like a giant salt shaker. The more you read, the thirstier you get. So as we spend more time reading, the discipline will create thirst which will provoke one another to faith and good works. We need to read the Bible the way it is intended to be read. BIBLE=REVELATION. Faith comes by hearing (Romans 10) The Bible is a story, like a dramatic narrative; when you read it by chapter and verse it chops up the natural flow of the story. It's like dissecting a frog...when you dissect the word and piece it apart it will lose it's true life. Spiritual awakening cultivates thirst from the Word of God so I'm going to let my apetite for God drive me and my passions to reality.

Shawn Murphey spoke about faith and finances. A point he drove home was when we live comfortably, we post-pone the abundent life of God. It's a concious choice we need to make and be willing to risk things to get radical with God. When we step out in obedience, faith will come with this. God will call you to do some crazy things but as we recognize the voice of Him and be obedient, he will bless you and protect you. Position yourself in hard situations to build up your own character.

Be grateful because God has given us so much so we're called to be good stewards. As we walk in abundance with people around us daily, God will provide. Generousity is more than just finances. Everything is God's...people and money both and we need to reflect this in our lives and be willing to surrender both. I'm learning to walk in the spirit of generosity and give and be generous with one another in ways that are possible and God will take care of the impossible.

My heart and life are being wrecked..in a good way; in a God way. For the last couple days, it's felt like I was just going through the motions. Nothing was fully striking a cord in my heart so I humbled myself and asked the Lord to truely examine my heart. It was something inside of me that felt wrong. He revealed some ugly things that I didn't necesarially want to claim but I'm now seeing things through new light, clear eyes, and God's perspective. All of the content we're learning is now starting to make sense. I've had to unclench my fists of some things that have become a part of me. It's a lot of uprooting, molding, refining and it's all bittersweet.  

Giving up our rights and accepting the "Grace Ticket"

We are continuing lectures from Loren and Darlene Cunningham on a bunch more of awesome stuff! I'll give yah a little run down.

1. Who God is: infinite, personal, intellectual, and conscious
2. Who Mankind is: created in the image of God, finite, personal with reason
3. What Truth is: constant and known
4. Responsibilities: based on what you know

We can do the things God has called us to do at a finite level with God. Righteousness is being responsible for what you know and taking up your cross daily is to die to our self and accept our responsibilites and humans. Our hearts are created for emotions and to make choices. Life is a relationship and love is a choice. You cannot do things and make decisions off of feelings but off of love and what's right in the eyes of God. God is love which is the basis of all his character and love is real.

We're made in the image of God and to live is to be like Christ and give up our right of freedom and free will that He has given us. You can't lose when you have an eternity of justice waiting for you. Ironically, to die is to truely live. We need to stop thinkin about ourselves and think about the heart of God. In Philippians 2 it talks about how Jesus emptied himself of the glories of heaven and his power to take on human form to die for our sins.

The rights we received when Jesus died were things like freedom (losing your life for the sake of the gospel), family (give up your rights to take responsibility of ministry), reputation (losing face to serve God), food, money (give up the focus of the -great American dollar-), comfort/sleep (when you're with other people in other places you give up your right and luxury of your bed and sleep).

"Give up your rights and He will take care of the responsibility. Revelation needs interpretation to get accurate application." - Loren Cunningham

When we give up our rights we cannot let things rise up like anger, self-control, self-pity, and bitterness. Sacrafice your life and lay down your rights of yourself because nothing but the kingdom will last. We cannot exult in our own understanding over Gods.

OUTREACH LOCATIONS!:

1. Myanmar
2. Japan
3. Cambodia
4. India/sri Lanka
5. Columbia/chile
6. Us virgin Island
7. Mozambique/south Africa
8. Rwanda
9. Cambodia/vietnam
10. South Africa

--We find out our teams and leaders on Monday. 10/17/11--

Darlene Cunningham talked about what to do when we don't know what to do. We need a new understanding of who God is, uphold the character of God, and know the tools used to glorify Him. We need to begin to delight ourselves in who God is.

• understand who God's character is
• remind yourself what He's done in the past (take a higher perspective)
• develop in your spirit "God loyalty"

One thing we can hold onto when times get hard is the Word of God. If we don't have a story to relate to, we need to go back to the true Bible stories and turn back to God's faithfulness. Make it a way of life. Memorizing the word of God and it will be forever wallpapered in your mind and on the tablet of your heart.

God's grace is sufficient for all things. He gives us the power and authority to do the things he calls us to do even when it seems impossible. We can't always to get out of a situation but get grace to make it through. God is limitless and the difficult places in our lives prove God's provision and faithfulness. He doesn't promise us an easy life but he tells us He will be with us through thick and thin and will make beauty from the ashes. We lose grace when we compare ourselves with one another or take offense, so we need to drop the offense and pick up the grace ticket.

"Visualize yourself at the foot of the cross complaining. Is the power of the cross enough?!" -Darlene Cunningham

When we stand before God on judgement day we will not make an account for other people but how we have proved Him to be faithful and when I used the grace ticket when I needed Him the most. So we need to judge righteously and leave the situation in God's hands. Hang onto joy as you hang onto His character.

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and he will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgement as the noonday." --Psalm 37:4-6

Encountering God

Today was day one of "Corporate Week" where as whole student body we're all together for the teachings by different speakers including the founders of YWAM, Darlene and Lorren Cunningham. There were many little things covered which once again opened my eyes to the vastness and power of God.

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing." --John 15:5

When we love and commit to Jesus, we become radically fruitful. We need to encounter God everyday and be changed right now, responding to the invitation of Heaven. When we engage in the spirit we can bear fruit that remains. Jesus wants to be responsible for the abundent life we have through Him.

"You did not choose Me but I chose you and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you." --John 15:16

We have become a society based on urgency and convenience; but we need to be patient, complacent, and worship while we wait. Experience and learn the character of God, because that will remain steadfast above all else. When we pursue a relationship with Jesus with urgency we will leave a legacy of God's character to future generations. It is possible to run with the Lord for a lifetime and not get bored. He placed in us a spirit of adventure and it's stirring my soul and making me so excited for the journey he's taking me on.

I want to encounter God like never before, walk in the fullness of urgency but leave a legacy of His character to match it, that faith will be birthed in my heart united with my love and passion to serve Him to my greatest capacity. God is on the move around the world giving us strength to pioneer with him. Darlene gave an analogy using our fingerprints. We need to open our hands to him, throw down previous experiences and take up the calling God gave to me. Everyones callings and fingerprints are different, including identical twins. It's what's so neat about the body of Christ. The gift of God in everyone is to be used to create diversity and is a true expression of who God is.

We should embrace the gifts that God has given us individually. We cannot be focused on what we don't have or what we need but be a vessel with what God has blessed us with. God specializes in brokeness and he will use this for his glory. He honors those who do not give up but have a relentless spirit. We need to embrace the impossible and have faith in Jesus.

"Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed." --John 20:29

Thomas said he must see and touch Jesus to believe in the resurrection. We shouldn't need visual evidence but have faith to see God at work. Trusting God means looking beyond what we can't see to what He sees. This is the very essense of faith. We must actively obey Him and have confidence in His love for us before He will bless us. So Lord, I give it all to you God and I'm trusting you to make something beautiful out of me. :)

Processing

The last few days have been days of processing and taking everything we've learned this far and making it our own and praying about different things we're wrestling with God about. A verse that keeps coming to mind for me is Isaiah 42:9 that says "Behold the former things have come to pass, now I declare new things; before they spring forth, I proclaim them to you." This verse has significance to me because as my eyes are being opened more and more and as I learn more about the kingdom, it's becoming a whole new lifestyle. I'm letting go of my old lifestyle and completely changing my thinking about myself, people, the things I do and my behavior. Literally, everything matters and no matter what you do or what you say, someone's going to be watching you. I am the chosen one in whom Jesus' soul delights and because of that I need to take representing him seriously. Also in Isaiah 42 it mentions that He has called me into righteousness, and will hold me by his hand and will watch over me. Appoint me as a covenant to be a light to the nations, open blind eyes, and bring out prisoners from the dungeon.

Another thing I really think God is calling me into is leadership and overcoming the fear of the unknown and fear of unbelief. A verse that spoke to me was:

"Yet with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promise. He was also able to perform. Therefore it was credited to him as righteousness." --Romans 4:20-22

Last night we got to volunteer in the World Championship Iron Man Competiton. What is it? 2.4 miles of swimming in the open ocean, 112 miles of cycling, 26 miles of running. Absolutely amazing! We did the 6 pm-12 am shift. They were crossing the finish line and 17 hours was the cut off time. The race began at 6:30 am and they did this all day long. Many of the streets and highways all around Kona were closed for the athletes. I was woken up by helicopters flying over head, televising the race. People from many different countries and nations came just to be deemed "Iron Man". The physical and mental stress these people put their bodies through was incredible. The thousands and thousands and thousands of calories they burn throughout the day. After finishing the race it was our job to direct them to the medical tents, and show them where to get their bikes and bags. They take the athletes vital signs, weigh them, give them oxygen if need be, blankets and food. It truely was an experience of a lifetime. It is sort of like a vision of us crossing the finish line to heaven. After running this race of life, giving God the glory and what a sense of relief it will be joining Jesus in paradise! Those are just some highlights of the weekend! Not much else going on! Thanks again for the prayers! God Bless :)

Passion of Jesus' Heart

Today was the final day of lecture from Don Stephens about The Kingdom of God and Biblical Worldview. I will briefly cover a lot of the topics we're covering and if any of you would like to check out the notes from this week his website is http://www.donstephens.wordpress.com/. The central message of Jesus' teachings was on the kingdom. I had a hard time with this because it's so complex but so easy at the same time. It's something you can't just define and put in a box but be enlightened by it and have the ability to share it in it's importance. The kingdom is every place where the will of God is being done. In a nut shell, everything we do matters. The kingdom should be a reflection of our king. It is everywhere the light touches adn brings the glory of God. This means in every one of our spheres of influence. It's not just the people of church but have people from every are of society and encourage them for the kingdom. God calls us to serve where we are and serve like Jesus. It is a servant kingdom not a dominating kingdom. Family: love, nurture, and multiply. Business: to discover, provide, heal, bless. Church: proclaiming the gospel of the Lord. Government: exercise justice and restrain evil. Media: interpret info through lens of good and evil. Education: to pass on truth to future generations. Arts/Entertainment: celebrate goodness, truth, beauty. The kingdom as a whole is the glory of God's character. It's a passion of Jesus' heart, not all about sin management. Our passion and purpose come together to bring the kingdom glory by learning the culture of Jesus with radical grace, valuing who people are, not just converting them, and giving courtesy and kindness and honor one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)

Learning the true meaning of what the kingdom is to me is such a fun journey for me. Disciple-making is a process not just a one time conversion event. My heart for discipleship training school is about love and relationships. To me the kingdom is more of an action and lifestyle. Every action, every thought, every word, and everything I do matters. For the glory of God I do the things I do. Not for recognition or satisfaction but through my love towards others, people can see and experience Jesus through me. I want more of Jesus' heart and passions. "His ways are far above my ways". I'm just praying this week that God will give me a revelation of what His kingdom looks like.

Weekly verse: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, for his mercies never fail, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness." --Lamentations 3:22-23

We had our small group this week where 7 girls and a leader all meet to sort through a lot of the lecture and discuss questions we had. I'm being challenged and by the end of the three months, I hope to memorize the book of James. We need to wallpaper our minds with God's word, his truth, and promises. It's such an exciting thing and I'm going to find much value in knowing the Bible via word of mouth. It's so powerful! Tonight we have community worship in Ohana Court with all of the students on campus and people from the community. I'm so excited for everything that God has in store for me and everything I've learned this far! I hope you guys enjoy reading and following along on the adventure! :)

whew! YWAM. is. intense

So, the last couple of days have been kinda crazy busy but it's been so awesome! We are continuing teaching and lecture on the Kingdom of God and studying many different worldviews. It's overwhelming how much we're learning, I'm really learning the importance of getting alone with God to kinda debrief and sift through scripture and all of the content. Some subject matter we're covering is truth, repentance, and different beliefs that the world has come to know; creating it into the madness we call life. Every idea has a consequence: good or bad. Wrong thinking can produce wrong ideas. Middle ages, the Enlightenment, Naturalism. International Eugenics Movement, Anarchy, Post-Modernism, Modernism, New Age, Utopianism, Socialism, Communism, Islam, Ghosticism, etc. So much information!!! haha. Our eyes are so polluted and distorted by sin from all of these ideas that we now don't even recognize who God is. Because of this, Jesus came to love and build the trust of people to show the real character traits of God. "The word became flesh to seek and save what was lost." The Kingdom Worldview tells us that Jesus came because God never gave up on His dream for you and I. He wanted to adopt us so bad that he sent a human connection to the God-head so that we could have fellowship with a brother.

Every good story reasonates with the kingdom of heaven. Stories are in your heart and it's not "Once upon a time.." but what has happened and what is happening still. My life will Jesus will end with "Happily ever after..". There is so much good in this world and that's what I'm fighting for, because it's worth it to me. I refuse to reduce my story to Jesus dying and saving me from hell because that is only a small chapter in this story I'm doing called life. I want life abundently and am now learning the true meaning of the importance of kingdom and if we seek first HIS Kingdom, everything will come after.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE! Last night I had the privilage of chopping off 8 inches of a fellow DTS student's hair!! It was soo fun! I'm going to be the hair cutter of the campus I believe and maybe even make a couple of bucks in the process! We find out our outreach locations next week. I am soo excited, the anticipation is making me crazy! We will have about 10 locations with 8-10 students on each outreach team. I'm learning the importance of relationship and compassion for others. We're going to be walking through the miry pits together, ups and downs, and will be bound together by grace and God's love. Annndd...TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! And people have just blessed me so much! As a class I received a gift and card that everyone signed. I got called to the front and they sang me "Happy Birthday" and then the Norweigans sang to me in their native tongue. My leaders are so awesome and have been affirming me and encouraging me so much in this new season and year of life. I cannot wait to see the plans that God has! I'm heading to my work duty soon which is a 2 hour shift every day where we have the opportunity to go and serve and do it in the name of Jesus. For God's glory. I'm in the Early Childhood Education building with 2 other compassion girls and several older people from the "Crossroads-DTS". I think God's really going to bring us together and bless the work we are able to do! Hope you enjoy following what I'm learning. I'll try and keep them short and managable to read. It's pretty deep stuff! haha. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support! God bless! :)

Day #3-4: The power of testimony & the kingdom of God

Sunday was a free day also to just relax and hang out. I took a local shuttle with several fellow YWAMers and attended a local church called "The Living Stone." It was so amazing!! On the shore of the beach, outside under an open tent, studying the Word of God while we were listening to the waves crashing in on the rocks. Another perfect moment to be captivated by God's creation. The message was taught on insecurity and aligning our thinking with "What my Father says..." versus what we see ourselves. Everything in your Christian life flows from you identity in Jesus and before God can fully use us, we need to understand we cannot do this on our own: We need Jesus. End of story. What we focus on fixes and creates the reality of what we operate under and until that changes, our lives will remain the same. In conclusion we must be people who endure until what we see matches what God says in the Bible. After supper we had the opportunity to gather as a class and share a mini personal testimony and how we got to YWAM and why we chose compassion. It is amazing the power of testimony and the spoken word. How much you learn about people in 5 minutes. It's like an appetizer to their life walk with Jesus. The honesty, and vulnerability is simply beautiful. The walls of people's heart just come crumbling down and it's just raw, to the core, "this is who I was..this is who I am now...and to God be the glory". I felt so much more at peace to know how many people were dealing with or have already walked through much of what I have as well. It just deepens relationships so much and puts a whole new meaning to a person. One thing I always like to relate to is "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in their shoes." So true. I am estatic for this journey I'm going on with all of these fellow students and brothers and sisters in Christ. Doing life together, and doing it all for Jesus.

Monday. Day #1 of lecture, of class, of a scheduled day. I had been waiting for this day for months and these last couple days seemed to have drug on because I've been waiting with hopeful anticipation. Our speaker this week is Don Stephens. His heart and teaching will be focused on "The Kingdom of God". He wanted to answer the unending question everyone wonders...WHY?! Why was I created? Why am I here? Why do I do the things I do? In a nut shell, everything is created for a purpose and that purpose is God's glory. The world is like a mirror reflecting the image of God. His creativity, his beauty, his power, and his glory. Isaiah 43:7 says, "everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." God created love in our DNA because that's what we were created for. It all makes sense why people appreciate the pretty things of this earth so much. A sunset, a flower, a perfect harmony, etc. Because we long for glory in everything we do, it's how God made us. Would you rather live in a slum, or the fancy house on the lake? We desire glory. Our hearts are programmed to love the glory of God. A redeemed heart longs for beauty.

Now, the grace of God. Don Stephens put it this way..."Religion will make us terrorists without the grace of God." Grace is the free gift of God's favor, and his empowering presence. Without grace it's all about sin management and that's not the lifestyle God created for us to live. We desire these things in our life: restoration, healing, recovery and they cannot happen before our focus is set on the kingdom of God. We must "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you."--Matthew 6:33. He then discussed different things about the purpose of the law and the purpose of grace. It is impossible to live by the law and by grace. Jesus fulfilled the law so that we wouldn't have to. In conclusion to that, the law highlights the fall of man and gives us a new appreciation for grace and what exactly Jesus saved us from. It is opening my eyes to the vastness and appreciation for the gift of grace.

*This is day one of 12 weeks. My mind is already blown away and my eyes are being opened to a whole new light and meaning to life. I'm going to continue to try and blog daily or every other day or as often as I can. Our schedules are hectic, busy and I'm like a sponge absorbing so much I can't help but pour the life out to you. I appreciate all of you who are following my blog and bare with me as I try to keep everyone up to date. I'm getting rocked!! Hope you enjoy the journey as well!*

Day #2: Captivated by the beauty of God's creation

Today was a free day to just hang out, absorb what we've already began and reflect and prepare for the weeks to come. I woke up at a lovely hour of 5 am and went to the prayer room and then on a run. It was so beautiful to see the sunrise over the hilltops and palm trees. We boarded the buses to make our way to the Hapuna Beach. On the drive it was awesome to see even the change and diversity in the land. We were able to look across the stretch of the ocean and see the mountains on the island of Maui. So cool. The anticipation of going to the ocean and experiencing it in real life was so exciting. I was instantly captivated by the beauty of what I was really seeing. It was so similar but so much more wonderful than what I saw in my dream (mentioned in a previous blog). It made my heart beat faster. The vastness, the greatness, the colors. I took my first jump in and got the taste of really how salty the Pacific is. eekkk. We swam out to a rocky pier cliff and got to jump off of the cliff into the clear teal water. AHH!! It was so awesome! After several hours at the beach filed with swimming, playing games, eating, and relaxing we journeyed back to campus. The evening has been free for enjoyment and whatever we want to do. Excited for fellowship and sleep!!! :) Good night!  

Day #1: Learning how huge and diverse God is..

Today was a day not many words can even explain. We began the morning with breakfast at 6:30 am followed by a gift giving ceremony to the Hawaiians, the people of the land, for allowing us to come to their territory to attend YWAM. We then were welcomed by all the campus leadership and had orientation of all the DTS students. (There are 6 DTS schools going on at one time-almost 400 students). Afterwards we broke off into our different schools so the "Compassion" students went to our classroom tent and got united with our staff and leaders. Lunch break! After lunch we met back up with our class for a run down of how things will go for the next couple of weeks.

Some words our leaders got for our specific school were "Restore", "Rest in my love", and "Bring my river of life and hope to the helpless". The Holy Spirit prompted our leaders to call the students to break off any strongholds satan had in our lives presently; struggling addictions, and proclaim freedom and to have the Lordship of Christ over all those areas that were hindering us. It was so amazing how God showed up and allowed His spirit to work and move. We are crammed into a tent with 100 kids from various parts of the world coming together for one purpose, to worship Jesus. Complete strangers basically but during this time we had the freedom to pray for one another, intercede on their behalf to have victory in the name of Jesus and to grow and start this new season of life together. It was such a life giving experience and it really showed me how powerful God is and really how important unity is also.

We then had time to absorb everything that had happened and just "rest". After supper we had a huge "Aloha Welcome Night". There were Somoan men with torches and women with skirts and flowers and beads dancing in unison to a Hawaiian beat. It was so awesome to see! It's like a whole new world here! :)
We had a flag ceremony that introduced all of the nations we were representing as a school. It is unreal to me how deep and far and wide the love of Jesus is. Students have traveled from 36+ hours away just to come and experience God differently. Our school this quarter is representing 43 different nations all over the globe; places like Egypt, Pakistan, Haiti, Fiji, Switzerland, Netherlands, Norway, Marshall Islands, China, South Korea, and many many more. I am proud to say that I serve a God who hears prayers from all different languages, he can be everywhere at once, yet always meet me right where I'm at. We ended in worship and praise of thankfulness to how amazing our God is. I felt so much freedom to just worship authentically. Him and I. Heart to heart. I danced around with child like faith, cried like a baby, and jumped and shouted for joy. I expressed more emotions than I thought were humanly possible and loved every minute. So much joy, so much life. He is making me a new creation, and this is only the beginning! Hold on, cuz it's going to be a wild ride :)